He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
