That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just want to make out with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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