Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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