I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
