I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize