i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize