Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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