Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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