if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
