Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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