I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
