Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
