You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we have pet lesbian snakes
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
