She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just blew my weed a kiss
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
