He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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