You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
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Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.