I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much