I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I understand Curling. That high.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He better not be in your backpack
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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