i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
