you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
