i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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