Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
