I heard we made out
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
