Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
