So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just want to make out with him forever
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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