What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Shame - the story of my life.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize