i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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