On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
