I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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