This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
