You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Don't make out with my wife yet
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
