can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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