so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
