HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
