So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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