Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.