...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
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I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
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You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"