your thong is hanging out like whoa
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
