i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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