talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
