just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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