A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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