Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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