Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.