she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?