Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media