all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.