talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The beers last night were like the tears from god
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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