therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
