I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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