Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize