I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I am never drinking with the goths again.