She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
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We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
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About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.