it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
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I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
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Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.