Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!