someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
