whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
