He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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