why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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