Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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