My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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