Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
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He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
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I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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