it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
