worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
