he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
