Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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