Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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