Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
it was like eating out sand paper
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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