Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
one might say we're banned from that church
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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