I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We left the knife in your bed.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
