Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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